The War on Men

Father’s Day was last Sunday and it’s always fun to watch the dads at church with their little kids. You can practically see hearts in the little ones’ eyes for their dad and it gives such an overwhelming sense of joy. Sometimes. Other times, if I’m honest, I war between feelings of gratitude and feelings of resentment. Father’s Day can be highly emotional for many of us because if we aren’t careful, we can start comparing other fathers to the dads in our own lives. Maybe your dad was abusive. Neglectful. There, but not there. Checked out. Or maybe he walked out long ago and never looked back. Maybe you had a great father, but the father of your children mistreated you and them, ending in separation or divorce. Maybe your father is working through his own brokenness from his father, who had major issues. As hard as he tries, he just seems to act more and more like the man he aspired never to be. 

It’s messy, isn’t it? 

Fatherhood is important for so many reasons. While God’s hierarchy for the family is perfect, there seems to be a chasm between God’s perfect plan for the family and what we have become as a society. If you listen to liberal news outlets, you’ll hear that the need for men alone fathers-is obsolete. I mean, really. What is a man, even? Women are basically the same and can do anything men can do. If you listen to conservative news, you’ll hear daunting statistics about how taking men out of the home dooms the future generation and massively contributes to the decay of the nuclear family. It’s enough to make a person feel very hopeless. Young men these days are often shamed, just for being who God made them. Being labeled “toxic” when they try to lead, as God has ordained. What a lie! 

Identity is everything. I think that’s something that even the most self-righteous Bible beaters and the sign-wielding screamers can actually agree on.  But just one question: 

Who defines us? 

If we usurp the throne, we can, seemingly, define ourselves as we like. Heck, we’ve pushed the bounds of (objective) reality to the point that being a human isn’t even necessarily mandatory anymore! Be a goat! Be a leafy green vegetable! Who are we to judge you? It’s laughable, really, yet it isn’t, because that type of thinking does not lead to life. Here’s the thing. We are all image-bearers of God. All of us. It doesn’t matter if we even believe God exists. We’re image bearers of God. It’s nonnegotiable. He made us; we don’t make Him. Any time we stand in disagreement with what He says, there is going to be trouble. We will feel torn in two. Because deep down, no matter what we feel, no matter what peers or even family tell us, we were made to reflect God! This is why, in my opinion, the further people get from God, the more angry and worn-down they appear. Have you noticed that most Christians who walk in step with God’s Word often have a glow about them? Conversely, there are Christians who insist on living their life their way (I like to refer to this as “Burger King Christianity”), who live in this constant tension of who they were meant to be and who they are, trying to do it all in their own strength, sans Holy Spirit. 

Then there are those who don’t even know they are image-bearers of God. The seduction and allure of a culture that screams, “Be your own god” pulls them in, yet they never seem happy and they definitely don’t have the peace that comes from Christ alone. They are deceived and, without knowing who defines them, they are left to the daunting (masquerading as liberating) task of defining/identifying themselves. 

So what does this have to do with fathers? Well, a good father knows his role as protector and spiritual leader of his family and he knows the importance of first and foremost, submitting to God! He realizes that he has a massive, God-given responsibility that he will answer for one day when he stands before the Lord! A good father knows that future generations, not only of his bloodline but his neighbor’s bloodline, depend on his leadership and example! It’s a heavy weight to bear! And when the culture tells him he’s not really even a thing, when sitcoms constantly portray the dad as a big, dumb oaf who doesn’t know what time it is (ever), it seems like it could, over time, become demoralizing.

The statistics show us plummeting numbers where marriage and having children are concerned (e.g., fewer fathers). Our culture is hung up on “being true to yourself” instead of being true to the One whose image we bear. The word “Traditional” is now uttered with contempt and mockery, painted as “old school” and “outdated”, yet the alive-and-active, timeless writings of scripture make it clear that this is the way to live. The way to life!

We are in a war and it starts with men, trickling down to the kids. Satan knows if he can take the men out, he can wreak havoc on future generations, having maximum impact. What we need now, maybe more than ever, is good mentors for our men. Walk alongside guys who speak into the lives of men whose dads are not present. Loving, correcting, and inspiring young men. Let the young men know that, while this world is broken, in the end, God still wins! 

Let’s pray that we, as a culture, would awaken to the importance of honoring our men, whether they are fathers or future fathers. Let’s speak life over men, not demean, shame and berate them as so much of the culture does. 

Father. Perfect, holy Father, we come to you humbly acknowledging that we don’t always love men well in our culture. The idea of a woman submitting to a man is downright triggering to many of us, yet your inerrant word tells us to do just that. Lord, please raise up strong, godly leaders who will reverse much of the damage that has been caused by the enemy over the past several decades. God, show us where we need to grow in supporting and uplifting our men. Please stir the hearts of godly men to sacrifice their time in pouring into the youth. Just one man can make a difference, having a rippling effect on generations to come! We need mentors, God. Disciplers. Selfless men with the eternal perspective that can influence our young men for Your Kingdom! Thank you, Lord, that ALC has such strong leadership and a robust youth ministry. We pray for even more leaders, mentors, and disciples, God. Please open the storehouses and pour out your blessing, not just on ALC, but on churches across the world. In Jesus’ precious and powerful name, we pray, amen.